Category: Fun Stuff

An auto mechanic received a repair order that read: “Check for clunking sound when going around corners.” Taking the car out for a test drive, he made a right turn, and a moment later he heard a ‘clunk’. He then made a left turn and again heard a ‘clunk’. Back at the shop he opened… Continue reading Note to Mechanic

1. You’ve got to keep that rear end lubed. 2. Oh, don’t worry I’ll fill’er up. 3. Not getting enough suction. (Also applicable to surgeons/dentists.) 4. Just pump it a few times. 5. This is going to need some more oil. 6. How long since this pads been changed? 7. You might need to wiggle… Continue reading Things Mechanics Say that Sound Dirty

WHY ARE THERE SIDEWALKS BESIDE MOST STREETS AND HIGHWAYS? So Ford owners have a safe place to walk home. WHY DID FORD PUT HEATERS IN THE TAILGATES OF THEIR NEW TRUCKS? To keep their hands warm when they are pushing the truck into the shop. HOW IS A GOLF BALL DIFFERENT FROM A FORD? You… Continue reading A Few Short Ford Jokes

Did you hear that Navistar International and Mack are going to merge? The new truck will be called a Corn-Dog.

It takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one: a reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in their jobs. After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet,” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the… Continue reading The Gripe Sheet

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph ‘s Hospital. She timidly asked, Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?’ The operator said, ‘I’ll be glad to help, dear. What’s the name and room number?’? The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, ‘Norma Findlay, Room 302. The… Continue reading The Grandmother

Women: 1.Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the last oil change. 2.Drink a cup of coffee. 3.15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle. Men: 1.Go to O’Reilly auto parts and write a check for 50 dollars for oil, filter, oil lift (AKA kitty litter),… Continue reading How Men and Women Change Their Oil

Barry’s colonoscopy journal: I called my friend Andy, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis. Then Andy explained the… Continue reading Barry’s Colonoscopy Journal

There was a cow milking contest in a farm fair. The objective of the contest is to manually extract the greatest volume of milk from a cow within a minute. Some contestant extracted more than a gallon, while the others are lesser. A farm mechanic joined the contest just for fun, and he extracted a… Continue reading Farm Fair Cow Milking Contest

Three mechanics were in the bathroom standing at the urinals. The first mechanic finishes and walks over to the sink to wash his hands. He then proceeds to dry his hands very carefully. He uses paper towel after paper towel and ensures that every single spot of water on his hands its dried. Turning to… Continue reading Three Mechanics