This mechanic was really tired and pulled into a diner, and just ordered a cup of coffee. While sitting at the counter, a group of bikers pulled in, started acting rowdy, spilled his coffee, made fun of him, and tried to pick a fight with him. He just got up, paid for his coffee ,and… Continue reading Tired Mechanic and Bikers

10) Doesn’t mind awkward positions 9) Trained to do it right the first time 8) Always wears protective clothing 7) Enjoys doing it in the open 6) Knows what lubrication is all about 5) Great hands 4) Never minds getting dirty 3) Our engines last longer, a lot longer 2) More stroke, more power and… Continue reading Top 10 Reasons to Date a Mechanic

You know its time to change your car when….. 1. You spend more on oil than on petrol. 2. Your car leaves three types of liquid in your parking space. 3. You offer a friend a lift and they say no because they are in a hurry. 4. You feel good if you beat a… Continue reading You Know it’s Time To Change your Car When…

AUDI Accelerates Under Demonic Influence Always Unsafe Designs Implemented All Un-informed Drivers Insulted All Unnecessary Devices Installed BMW Big Money Works Bought My Wife Brutal Money Waster BUICK Big Ugly Indestructable Car Killer CHEVROLET Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time DODGE Damn Old… Continue reading What the Name of your Car Really Stands For…

(Ford had to recall millions of cars because the ignitions could spontaneously start a fire) 10. Where’s there’s smoke, there’s a Ford 9. Have you driven a Ford to the fire station lately 8. Forget Chevy – we have the real Blazer 7. Available in regular or extra crispy 6. Now every Bronco is as… Continue reading The Letterman Show: Top Ten New Ford Slogans

What do you call a guy who misses ten car payments? A pedestrian.

A man buys a huge new car and shows it to his neighbor. Its great says the neighbor but does it have a bed in like mine? But your car is tiny says the man. Yes but watch this, the neighbor presses a button on his tiny car’s dashboard and a bed unfolds. The man… Continue reading My Car is Better than Yours

The little old lady was driving her VW beetle when she experienced some trouble…it died right there! Well, she managed to get her vehicle out of traffic, got out via driver’s door, proceeded to the front of the car, and raised the “hood”. While she stood there looking, another elderly lady pulled up…also in a… Continue reading VW Bettle Trouble

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon”. In response to Bill Gate’s comments, General Motors issued a… Continue reading Top 16 Things Bill Gates Would Change About the Automotive Industry

There was a crowd of bees flying around one day. These bees were most peculiar. They were powered by gasoline, rather than the allergenic goodies that bees usually eat. As the crowd flew along, periodically a bee or two would start to sputter; it would fly down to a gas station, drink up the gas… Continue reading Mechanics Humor