It takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one: a reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in their jobs. After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the… Continue reading A Little Mechanic Humor

A brief description of what your car says about you: Acura Integra I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars  Acura Legend I’m too bland for German cars  Acura NSX I am impotent  Audi 90 I enjoy putting out engine fires  Buick Park Avenue I am older than4 of the 50 states … Continue reading What Your Car Says About You

A blonde made several attempts to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems finding a buyer because the car had 340,000 miles on it. She discussed her problem with a brunette that she worked with at a bar. The brunette suggested, “There may be a chance to sell that car easier,… Continue reading High Mileage

45 year-old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas, after a mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were packed in the engine compartment of the car which she had brought to the mechanic for an oil change. According to police, Brasher later said that she didn’t realize that the mechanic would… Continue reading Oil Change

Dear Abby,  I’ve never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision.  I’ve suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs…phone rings, but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the… Continue reading Dear Abby…

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.  MECHANIC’S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on… Continue reading What Mechanics Use for Tools

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley Davidson Motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the garage. "Hey Doc, can I ask you a… Continue reading A Mechanic and a Surgeon

A blonde made several attempts to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems finding a buyer because the car had 340,000 miles on it. She discussed her problem with a brunette that she worked with at a bar. The brunette suggested, "There may be a chance to sell that car easier,… Continue reading Turn Back your Odemeter

AN ANGRY MOTORIST went back to a garage where he’d purchased a battery for his car six months earlier. "Listen," the motorist grumbled to the garage owner, "when I bought the battery you said it would be the last battery my car would ever need. It died after only six months."  "Sorry," the garage owner apologized.… Continue reading An Angry Motorist

1. The emissions test guy starts laughing as soon as you pull onto the  rollers.  2. You can’t drive your car in the rain. 3. Your ‘significant other’ is afraid to drive your car. 4. You are afraid to drive your car. 5. You spend more on tires than on food. 6. You spend more… Continue reading You Know You Got Too Much HP When….