A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial; he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time… Continue reading From Gynecologist to Mechanic

Four men are bragging about how smart their cats are. The first man is an engineer, the second man is an accountant, the third a chemist and the fourth man is a mechanic. To show off, the Engineer calls his cat, “T-square, do your stuff.” T-square prances over to the desk, takes out some paper… Continue reading Mechanics and Their Cool Cats

An auto mechanic received a repair order that read: “Check for clunking sound when going around corners.” Taking the car out for a test drive, he made a right turn, and a moment later he heard a ‘clunk’. He then made a left turn and again heard a ‘clunk’. Back at the shop he opened… Continue reading Note to Mechanic

1. You’ve got to keep that rear end lubed. 2. Oh, don’t worry I’ll fill’er up. 3. Not getting enough suction. (Also applicable to surgeons/dentists.) 4. Just pump it a few times. 5. This is going to need some more oil. 6. How long since this pads been changed? 7. You might need to wiggle… Continue reading Things Mechanics Say that Sound Dirty

WHY ARE THERE SIDEWALKS BESIDE MOST STREETS AND HIGHWAYS? So Ford owners have a safe place to walk home. WHY DID FORD PUT HEATERS IN THE TAILGATES OF THEIR NEW TRUCKS? To keep their hands warm when they are pushing the truck into the shop. HOW IS A GOLF BALL DIFFERENT FROM A FORD? You… Continue reading A Few Short Ford Jokes

Did you hear that Navistar International and Mack are going to merge? The new truck will be called a Corn-Dog.

It takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one: a reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in their jobs. After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet,” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the… Continue reading The Gripe Sheet

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph ‘s Hospital. She timidly asked, Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?’ The operator said, ‘I’ll be glad to help, dear. What’s the name and room number?’? The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, ‘Norma Findlay, Room 302. The… Continue reading The Grandmother

Women: 1.Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the last oil change. 2.Drink a cup of coffee. 3.15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle. Men: 1.Go to O’Reilly auto parts and write a check for 50 dollars for oil, filter, oil lift (AKA kitty litter),… Continue reading How Men and Women Change Their Oil