WHY ARE THERE SIDEWALKS BESIDE MOST STREETS AND HIGHWAYS? So Ford owners have a safe place to walk home. WHY DID FORD PUT HEATERS IN THE TAILGATES OF THEIR NEW TRUCKS? To keep their hands warm when they are pushing the truck into the shop. HOW IS A GOLF BALL DIFFERENT FROM A FORD? You… Continue reading A Few Short Ford Jokes

Did you hear that Navistar International and Mack are going to merge? The new truck will be called a Corn-Dog.

It takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one: a reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in their jobs. After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet,” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the… Continue reading The Gripe Sheet

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph ‘s Hospital. She timidly asked, Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?’ The operator said, ‘I’ll be glad to help, dear. What’s the name and room number?’? The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, ‘Norma Findlay, Room 302. The… Continue reading The Grandmother

Women: 1.Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the last oil change. 2.Drink a cup of coffee. 3.15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle. Men: 1.Go to O’Reilly auto parts and write a check for 50 dollars for oil, filter, oil lift (AKA kitty litter),… Continue reading How Men and Women Change Their Oil

Barry’s colonoscopy journal: I called my friend Andy, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis. Then Andy explained the… Continue reading Barry’s Colonoscopy Journal

There was a cow milking contest in a farm fair. The objective of the contest is to manually extract the greatest volume of milk from a cow within a minute. Some contestant extracted more than a gallon, while the others are lesser. A farm mechanic joined the contest just for fun, and he extracted a… Continue reading Farm Fair Cow Milking Contest

Three mechanics were in the bathroom standing at the urinals. The first mechanic finishes and walks over to the sink to wash his hands. He then proceeds to dry his hands very carefully. He uses paper towel after paper towel and ensures that every single spot of water on his hands its dried. Turning to… Continue reading Three Mechanics

From the NORTHWEST FLORIDA Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot. The wife returned later to see… Continue reading The Mechanic

Backwards… Driver Returns On Foot Factory Ordered Road Disaster Factory Ordered Rebuilt Dodge(Datsun) Fix Or Repair Daily Found On Road Dead Flip Over Read Directions Four Old Rusted Doors Fixed On Race Day Ford Owner Really Dumb For Only Retarded Drivers Fabrication Ordinaire Reparation Dispendieuse – French for ordinary fabrication expensive repairs. Ford Owners Recommend… Continue reading Ford Acronyms