Tag: Jokes

Recently, Bill Gates compared the computer industry with the Auto industry saying if GM had kept up with technology like Microsoft we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1000 miles per gallon. It didn’t take GM long to reply with it’s own press release. Here’s what they had to say: For no reason… Continue reading GM Help Desk May I Help You?

A rich blonde buys a new automatic Jaguar XKR Sport. She drives the car perfectly well during the day, but at night, the car just won’t move at all. After trying to drive the car at night for a week (but without any luck), she furiously calls the Jaguar dealers and they send out a… Continue reading Blondes vs Gears

So you want a day off. Let’s take a look at what you are asking for: There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away… Continue reading Want a Day Off Work?

Microsoft should make cars, GM should make software: At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon.” In response… Continue reading If Microsoft Were GM

10. Your friends always volunteer to drive. 9. Your spouse has pet names for your truck, like Beast or The Thing. 8. Your engine makes so much noise that they can’t hear you at the teller window. 7. You’ve been pulled over 6 times for weaving down the road and you don’t drink. 6. You… Continue reading 10 Reasons you May Need a Mechanic

One morning a young man at his first job as a waiter in a diner has a large trucker sit down at the counter and order. “Gimme three flat tires and a couple of headlights,” said the truck driver. Bewildered the waiter goes to the kitchen and tells the cook, “I think this guy’s in… Continue reading The Truckers Diner

A truck driver was pulled over by a State Trooper. The patrolman told him to get out of the truck, and noticed that the driver appeared to be putting something in his mouth as he stepped out of the cab. Figuring that the driver was putting away his pep pills, the patrolman asked, “Did I… Continue reading Truck Pep Pill

1. Thou shalt keep thine engine clean and in adjustment that thy life in its compay shall be long and that thy owner shall increase thy pay. 2. Know thine engine and all its parts and functions else thou shall be in some unholy spot. 3. Be not wise in thine own conceit. Remember the… Continue reading Ten Commandments for Diesel Maintenance

A man applies for a job as mechanic. The boss says, “Can you roll your hard hat down your arm and pop it back on your head?” The mechanic nods, confused. “Can you play lightsaber with your wrench and another man’s screwdriver?” “Oh yes,” says the mechanic. “Can you bounce your screwdriver off the cement,… Continue reading Wanna-Be Mechanic

The helicopter lost power while flying over a remote Scottish island and was forced to make an emergency landing. Luckily there was a small cottage nearby. The pilot walked over to it and knocked on the door. “Is there a mechanic in the area?” he asked the woman who answered the door. She scratched her… Continue reading The Helicopter Mechanic